Tag Archive | 65

I’m Working On It

“What can I say but I’m working on it

all of it – everything in its entirety: I’ve left nothing out. I can’t say when it’ll be complete,

only that I’ll not cease until it’s longer, rounder, tighter…and with a little more red.” Susan Mrosek

Having jumped into the on line dating experience with both feet, I’m starting to consider “why”. Was I looking for a mate, a date, a friendship  a lover,an adventure? I’m not really sure. Suddenly its become oh so serious. Some dates are looking for marriage, or so they write in their profiles. I never  pick them. The choices are do you want to connect..Yes, Maybe, or No. Others are looking for a serious relationship don’t waste their time winking, flirting etc. More are very interested in sharing how physically fit they are, and they only want slender fit people in their lives…Sometimes it feels like we are all so desperate to fight the aging process…phrases like” folks say I look 40 instead of 60″ etc are very popular.. Along with kindhearted, sensitive,long walks on the beach, in the woods,with a good sense of humor.Friendship, lovers and good company are more where I tend to land. How do you judge, looks, profiles or gut feelings. Some days I’m tempted to say “yes” to everyone and see what happens.

I ask myself do I want to share this slice of my life with someone new? Can I make the compromises necessary for a relationship to grow. Can I give a little, be vulnerable enough to be intimate with someone?  Should I let someone interrupt by safe routines? What if I do?

As one gentleman wrote” I have become addicted to checking in on the on line dating scene.” So many faces I have categorized…Yes, Maybe, No, the ones I say Yes to don’t often reply. The maybes I review. and the Nos continue in the rotation like maybe I’ll change my mind if I see that face enough times. Perhaps my time could be better spent….Perhaps maybe if I add just a little more red, nothing ventured, nothing gained.

65 and still trying on line dating`1

So its been about 4 weeks now that I have been trolling various on line dating sites. I have had a couple of coffee dates which I must say I have enjoyed. In many ways its like what I imagine speed dating is like. The conversation has a rushed quality to it. All too quickly I find my self in very personal territory. I push on barely paying full attention because all of my questions are racing and I don’t want to forget to ask the big questions like, what do you like to do when you are not working? Have you ever killed anyone? Served time in jail? Read, like movies, any current girlfriends?

Of course I don’t remember much. I do note if he is a good kisser. And then there is the sex question….do you like sex….well yes, yes I do but its been awhile. On one occasion after making out for a little bit I realized my guy had an erection and he was very large. My first reaction was I am going to have to get myself a dilator kit for sure. If I am to have any kind of penetration I’ll need to work on that.

This was just the beginning of my to do list. Once the question of sex came up I began my inventory starting in the evening while getting ready for bed I wrapped myself in my favorite blue and white fleece snow-flaked bathrobe, very warm but not very sexy. I look down and I see my giant toenails with chipped polish from the summer. These nails are so hard I could open up cans with them in an emergency. The  legs are bit hairy and I have a few hairs sprouting out from my pubic area where once there was a full bush. That too will need some work.

It now dawns on me the meaning of ” must be well groomed” which has caught my eye in some of the profiles men have written in regards to qualities they were looking for in their date.Ever so slowly I realize that I might not be “well groomed” after being single for soo long I cut my grooming routine down to special occasions.  And it was very liberating.

However I have also become aware of my desire to bring out my more sensual being, Body scrubs scented with amber or vanilla, feet soaks, pedicures, massages all are now on my to do list in a very gentle haphazard way of course .